There's someone that I really really like... I really really love... can you guess who??? No hints, hehehe...

Why is it that whoever i love is afraid of my love? you think there's love in someone but it turns out to not be there. when i love someone i give them everything. i do all that i can for them. it's the way i am, yet they seem to hate me for it. why do i try to build so high just to burn down to the ground? why do i trust ppl so easily? why do ppl, when they see i'm willing to do anything for them, take advantage of that and use it against me. they end up controlling me and my feelings and using it to their advantage. i wish i would stop... but I LOVE TO LOVE. <3

This was pretty interesting. got it from a friend's profile on AIM. now it's on my profile. but... here it is too! check it out!

Currently feeling: blah

I know I've said a couple of other songs [The Cure - "Just Like Heaven" & 311 - "Love Song"] remind me of you Megan. But this one reminds me the most of you no matter how I look at it or think about it. Here it is, I LOVE YOU.

Aerosmith - "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing"

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing,
Watch you smile while you are sleeping,
While you're far away dreaming.
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender.
I could stay lost in this moment, forever.
Where every moment spent with you is a moment i treasure.

Don't want to close my eyes;
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing.

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating,
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming,
Wondering if it's me you're seeing.
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God we're together.
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever,
Forever and ever.

I don't want to close my eyes;
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing.

I don't want to miss one smile;
I don't want to miss one kiss.
I just want to be with you
Right here with you, just like this.
I just want to hold you close,
Feel your heart so close to mine,
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time.

I don't want to close my eyes;
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing.
Cause even when i dream of you,
The sweetest dream will never do.
I'd still miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing.

Don't want to close my eyes,
I don't want to fall asleep;
I don't want to miss a thing.

I figured i should finally write about this. b/c i think it stops but it always just starts up again.

I have one friend that actually is friends w/ me. then there's another who is friends, but has a lot of other friends so i never see him. my point is, i have almost no friends. this summer has sucked. no one wants to do anything except my one friend and he's always busy. my parents work so i can never go anywhere.

Ppl say that they're my friends, but they really aren't. they don't care about me. they say they are but they make no effort to show it. they make no effort to be nice.

Then when i have a break-down, they say, "Awwwww, por thing." [paraphrased] and they convince me i'm liked and that they're there for me or they're my friend, then the next day they wanna have nothing to do w/ me. they either don't make an effort to atleast talk to me or when i call they're like "Ummm, i really don't wanna talk to you right now, nor do i wanna talk to you for a while." [paraphrased].

I don't know what my problem is that hardly anyone likes me. i try my hardest to be nice to ppl and for them to like me. i guess ppl don't like to see that effort made. they could care less.

I'm bored doing NOTHING and am extremely lonely and depressed.

Sooooooooo........... i got this from Megan's LiveJournal.

So i'm hopin this will give me hours of un-lonliness... and yeah, my sister's dog (Daisy) just peed... so i have to go clean it up... ugh... i hate my summers.

adopt your own virtual pet!

What the f*ck is her problem?! my mumjust told ne oday that Megan's mum called and said that she wants me and Megan to be together only 2 days a week. WTF?! that's not fair at all. there's no excuses for those kinds of irrational thoughts. she can't be serious. she said one reason was b/c she wanted Megan to spend some more time w/ her friends. i was just about to tell her that she should do that, but i wasn't gonna tell her to only see me 2 days a week!!! WTF?! if she's gonna do say some stupid thing like tat why doesn't she atleast make it 4 days a week. that way she can see her friends 3 days a week or even more, depending on what she wants. i think i deserve a little more than 2 days a week.

So yeah, i know it's not my mum's fault, she doesn't think that irrationally, but i still yelled at her b/c she was gettin on my nerves. i didn't know i could yell so loud before too... when she left i took my lacrosse stick and hit it on my walls, then went and got my bike, pumped up the tires, slamed the pump down nd went to the park and kicked, and i kicked higher and harder than i have ever done before.

So yeah, i'm p*ssed off right now and will still probably be p*ssed off for atleast a few more days. i swear, if anyone gets on my nerves or tries to make trouble w/ me i will hurt them so bad. not kill b/c that's not in my nature, but the thought will atleast go through my mind to do so...

Tomorrow i'm leaving for Ohio to pick up my grandmother to go to New Jersey the next day. so i'll be back on Sunday so my next entry will be then. well, not much to say now... cept i'm somehow getting an odd onbsession for Franz Ferdinand... the band... incase you thought i was talking about a guy... okay. see ya when i get back, bye for now.